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I have pretty radical positions on many things and I often find myself feeling conflicted when certain topics arise for discussion at work.

For example, today my coworkers started talking about the death penalty at work. They seemed to all agree that the dealth penalty should be reinstated. I felt uncomfortable with this discussion.

I feel that this is unhumane. I understand their point of view, but I completely disagree with this practice and opt for a justice model that is based on restoring community harmony rather than exacting revenge.

I fear being ostracized by my colleagues for expressing what I feel are more tolerant beliefs. Criminals are people too, and even though I do not agree with their actions I don’t feel that this should mean their rights are taken away.

Am I doomed to be unpopular with my colleagues or forever keep silence when these topics are raised? What about my ethical inclination to defend those who have no rights and who are marginalized?

I am sorry. I know exactly what you are going through because I feel that way every day of my life. I am an opinionated person who also holds radically different views from those that I interact with on a daily basis. It is always hard for me to decide if I should let the opinionated side win out, or the side of me that hates the feeling of feeling alone on an issue. I analyze the same question you ask yourself, and came to the conclusion that if I believe and think differently than those around me, then that is something I just need to get used to. Fortunately, although most of my interactions are with people who hold views that are polar opposite to mine, what makes it better for me is that I know why I believe what I believe and where it comes from and I know how much more miserable I would be keeping my mouth shut all of the time. I also know that there are some people and there will be some times when I interact with people who (even if they do not agree with me) will be understanding and not be condescending because we do not view things in the same way.

For example, I was out to lunch yesterday with my brother and my sister. We began discussing “Sex and the City”. I don’t know if you know anything about the show or the characters, but neither of them like “Charlotte” and they love “Samantha” and for me it is the other way around. They say that Samantha is not a slut and that she is just a strong woman who knows what she wants and that Charlotte is a judgmental b—-. My feelings are the exact opposite and we wound up getting into this huge debate about home and family and women in the workplace and I said that I felt that if you have a baby, your first priority should be to the baby and not to your career. They seem to think that women should juggle the two even if it means that your children will have to sacrifice so you can achieve your career aspirations. They also did not see anything wrong with a woman sleeping with any man she laid her eyes on, and I think it is disgusting. I was (and always seem to be) the lone person on the other side of the fence when discussions such as these arise, but I know what I believe and why I believe that way. So while it would be nice for me to have people who share my views, it does not make me believe them any less. I just have to learn when it is best to keep silent and when it’s okay for me to speak. You need to do the same. Evalutate the situation. Are you dealing with people who are hard-headed and ready for a confrontation? Then perhaps it’s best to stay quiet. Are you dealing with people who express their views but are still open to other views? Then it’s okay to say what you believe, even if no one else may share your view because you know it won’t be met with negativity.

I too have an inclination to defend those who have no rights and are marginalized and am a self-proclaimed “fighter for the underdog”. This in itself causes you to be on the other side of the fence at times. But if you know that what you are doing, feeling and saying is the right thing for you, then that should be enough to help you decide to handle each situation as they arise.

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What an unfortunate situation for you. However, as long as you remain professional, the onus is on your coworkers to remain so with you, as well. If they are not, they are the ones with a problem. Your views are independent, and should be respected since you assert a rational argument and are not forcing your beliefs on others.

Whether you want to remain silent or advocate your beliefs is up to you. Some are willing to remain silent, but that does not sound like what you are comfortable doing that. Those that speak for the marginalized are always at risk of being ostrasized (hallmark of a leader), but there is more likely one or two that may silently agree with you - or more rewarding, see your point of view. Stay true to yourself,

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm and is filed under Social Science. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.